Openness = Vulnerable = Sensitivity = Receptivity

Aug 23

Father, my body is getting better. The thick green phelgm has reduced considerably. Still loads of phelgm but they are clear.

I woke up before alarm at 4 am despite sleeping just before 11 pm. My body needs only 5 hours sleep. Alarm rang at 4.10 am. I did my asanas, body felt lighter. I noticed that my balancing asanas was quite effortless. Looks like Kaka kriya is helping. Now my body felt lighter.

The end is getting near. I still have 5 weeks to go, then it be a start of new phase of 3 days work. They are not replacing me and E seems to ease off. Of course part of me says perhaps I was too rush but I knew if I am around, the pressure will still be on.

Mind is saying what u do next. Well, Oct I can still help in Isha. I am now at ease cos I knew Sadhguru is ok with me.
As for my writing. It still continues. Good that V is back. We can do something together.

Diamond Heart - book 3
Vulnerability means sensitivity as well as permeability.
We are permeable to not only physical, emotional and mental stimuli, but to essential and spiritual stimuli as well.
So, not only are we vulnerable in the sense that our feelings, our preferences, even our identity can be influenced, but we are also vulnerable to being aware, conscious and permeable to our true identity, and to the nature of all existence.

We are wide open to all influences, all possibilities if we allow ourselves to be - if we don't defend ourselves, if we don't build a shell and hide behind it. Our human consciousness is so vulnerable that we can actually know who we are. We can even experience the nature of stone, a tree, the nature of ourselves.

Because of the environment is difficult a lot of the time, we try to control it. We try to feel only what is good and not what is painful. But to do that it means we have to reduce our vulnerabilities.
An extreme attempt to eliminate our vulnerability is to try not to feel anything, the pain or the pleasure. And when u eliminate that vulnerability completely, when u don't feel anger or sadness, love or hate, need or desire, when u don't feel emotion, u start feeling alienated and that u r not human.

Soul
Tot of my Ice-olation card. My former auto self-control.

Diamond Heart - book 3
U r so vulnerable that not only can u block ur vulnerability and eliminate ur very human nature, but that same vulnerability allows u to experience things that are more than human, beyond the human, to what is divine.

One of the greatest fears about vulnerability is that if I am vulnerable, I am going to lose my sense of who I am. I be so open to being influences that I won't know who I am. I'll lose myself in the other person.

Soul
That's my fear with Sadhguru.

(Sept 9 - Thats is my fear. My self control is a defense as I knew deep inside I am a very vulnerable person. So, I set up an auto self control to defend my vulnerabilities. Alas, the door is all open up and that is why I am now receptive to Existence. Just sitting down, watching my breathe...is so sublime..so much joy and peace...)