Gaining courage to set parameters with Z

Aug 31

Soul
Menses delayed by nearly 2 weeks. Anyway, already did pregnancy test last week and it was negative. So, no longer worried. Mom told me her menopause came when she was 48. Mmm, quite early. So, perhaps this is a start for me. My family could be on early menopause.

Father, today pass again. I had skin allergy, could be the fermented shrimp paste I had for yesterday lunch.
But now getting better. Luckily Aspen gave me the hydrating mask which counter the dryness and relief the itchiness. Now I put on the hydrating lotion.

Had some tots of Z. I love him but he is not into me. Anyway, let him be. For me.

NN in Taurus
It is important to most NN that they and their partner exchange concrete expression of their value to each other. So, they have to share this information and set it up with their partner so this need gets met.
Internally, this can feel like a catch-22, because Taurus NN people also think that if they state their needs directly, the other person will leave. And since they believe they need their partner to survive, they may compromise themselves to keep a rship going, even if it isn't meeting their needs and their boundaries are being violated. Often their anger and resentment have to build to the point where they decide "I don't care if they leave" before these people will risk revealing their true needs and boundaries. They are learning that if they never ask what they need, they will never get it.

Soul
That's exactly where I was with Z. It was sad, to see me hanging on.
Anyway, it is good. Finally facing it. And the beauty is I still love him. But I know I m not going back on old terms. He has left me and I am fine now.
I will just face myself alone.
I have learned.

NN in Taurus
In healthy intimate rships, one person doesn't just adapt to the other - both must reveal their needs for true bonding to occur. The key is to be willing to teach the other person about reciprocity and the process of mutual awareness and sensitivity.

Soul
Yea. To learn.
Today I saw the trees and flower. They are really beautiful.


NN in Aquaries (Z)
They r learning to be more open to receiving and appreciating the love that others are bringing them. Until they do, if things don't unfold according to the way they think others should show their caring, they interpret it to mean that the other person doesn't love them and then they withdraw their heart. They end up feeling constantly disappointed and unloved, because their expectations and the role they are playing prevent them from receiving the love that is actually offered.

One of their important lessons this lifetime is learning how to receive love - how to be open to others demonstrating their love in their own way. This means really seeing what the other person is offering and the intention behind it and graciously accepting it. They are finding out that other people are simply being themselves and that we all have different expectations and ways of demonstrating love. They are learning to beyond the limits of their own expectations so they can recognise, appreciate and accept the different ways that the people around them show their caring and support.

Soul
That's what I told Z. It is not that he is unlovable but he makes it difficult for others to love him.

The above is similar to his Seven of Heart in Long range. Anyway, long range -not Pluto so maybe not time yet. Me, just a small dosage to him.

NN in Aquaries
They carry an innate fear of "loss of self" if they don't totally rely on themselves to create their own destiny. They feel if they let go of the control, and let someone in, they won't have enough creative power to manifest the things they want.
And yet is is crucial that they learn to let go and open their awareness and their heart to others, because this is not a "do it urself" lifetime for them.

Soul
So true.

Z
Generosity
Good-heartedness
Creative power
Loyalty
Determination
A playful spirit
Innovative insights

Soul
Psychological depth
Sensitivity to the circumstances of others
Eagerness to support others
A powerful spirit
A natural team player
The potential to create financial abundance
A willingness to invest in others.

Soul
I can see Z easily cos that's the reason I love him. For myself, the first few yes, the last 3 I am not sure.

Soul Mate rship with Z
u will find out that one thing that doesn't work is ignoring ur boundaries. It is important that u don't become so bonded with him that u lose sight or ur own values and what's important to u.

Soul
Both of us are similar. Have fear of being trapped in committed rship.

1st house of independence
8th house of soul mate
This is a unique situation where as a couple they were learning how to be in a committed rhsip without losing their individuality. Since these gifts could have opposed each other, the energy in their rship needed to stay in constant motion in order for them to be happy.