Sept 12 eve
Feels great after the mail. Drive out for evening walk. As I was driving I suddenly cried. Thanking Father for guiding me all the way. I feel so blessed. So thankful.
Step into the park and nature looks great. I start to sing love songs and this time its love song with nature.
Fantastic walk, effortless. At few points their beauty overwhelms me and I cried. Very little tots. Just being with nature, feeling Existence love for me and vice versa.
Towards the end, silence and a tot came. Relationship needs parameter. We need to voice our parameters so others can treat us they way we deserved to. They are not trying to hurt us not being unloving. They didnt know any better and we contribute by not expressing.
Just like after I express to P that I dread her calls cos its was so autocratic, always criticising, I felt small.
Much later when she keeps on pressing me to speak to others for things, I also tell her I don't like rejection. So for some cases, best she asked. Our rship had improved.
With Z I never set parameter. I just hang up, ignored him or exploded.
Today I expressed my feelings. It doesn't matter if he will take not of time and space. But what matters is I expressed myself without suppression.
A tot came on Pluto Two of Hearts. Finally I realised why Universe brought him back
Just did my Shoonya. Went in deep; there is a stillness to it. Samyama was quite effortless. Getting there. Towards the end head pull back and exchange of air from the guts.
Two hours has past and I still feel rested.
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