Kailash, I am coming home. I am healed

Sept 10 eve

On the way back, saw the flowers at road side, so beautiful saying hello to me. Tot of them covered with heavy rain storm yesterday and they survived and look great.
Suddenly tot of myself. I too survived the inner storm and I m fine now. Actually even better than before the storm. Alas I have truly changed. All the 5 years of practices has finally bear fruits.

Suddenly I cried loads with thankfulness for nature; for bringing me back to the existential mode. I cried and thank Sadhguru for the tools that changed me. I cried with thanks to Father who lead me all the way. I cried with thanks to all the masters who supported me in my journey.
The trees have never looks so lovely. I cried again with thankfulness to nature for allowing me to see them, to be with them.

I can now see all the trees along the way. I saw the hill and a tot came.
"I am ready to come home now. I am ready to come home to Kailash. I have dissolved my karma, lesson learned".
I cried whole half an hour home.

All these while I resisted going to Kailash. I don't think we need to go to Kailash for 'releses'. Now I know why; Kailash is home. Kailash is not the learning ground for me. Kailash is for me to come home when I m healed. Amen.
I feel so at peace now.

Just did my Shoonya. I was crying loads. Couldn't do Samyama as eyes can't open. Just go with the flow. I was singing, dancing and head shaking non stop. As if I m back in Samyama program.

I cried loads with thankfulness for Father, Sadhguru, Vijii, Osho, masters of Universe who helped me to be where I am now

After I did a great plough back. I tot of the hidden sadness in me. I am truly LOVE; to be able to give love to others eventhough I was so sad inside.
Alas all sadness released. I m going to share my journey in next Sathsang. Next month will be exactly 5 years since I did my Inner Engineering.

Suddenly tot of buying a big Sadhguru picture as my room already feels like Sadhana hall
Towards the end I cried with sadness. I told Sadhguru that it is enough that I can feel his love for me and I can expressed my love for Dhynalinga.
I ended by thanking all the people who I love before, who hurt me before. I dedicate my love to them. Amen.

Also tot of Z. I used to be envious of him for have mastery in outer world. My dream is mastery in inner world. I am enroute to my dream. He was just here to helped me to open my physical  and force me to see my emotional wound. He was karmic relationship (cosmic lesson Seven of Spades) for me to dissolve lifetime Seven of Hearts, Seven of Clubs and Nine of Hearts. Amen. Everything now in its right place. Amen.