First Karma card in Ruling - Two of Diamonds (difficulty in leaving bad relationship)

Sept 17 aft.

Suddenly tot of my good luck with food. I always have good food. I expect good food. More importantly i set High parameter and so only get good food; bad food is shun away. Infact others don't even dare to give me bad food.

Now since I have lack of parameter on personal relationships, I attract difficult friends
And with NiL parameter on romantic relationship, I attract bad partner.

Two of diamonds in my first karma cards in Ruling card.
Romantically the Two of Diamonds has strong and fixed ideas and principles about love that is admirable on one hand. But on the other, they are their greatest hurdle to their romantic and emotional happiness.
Many of them must learn that love and marriage are more than their fixed ideas about them. Once they are in a relationship, whether good or bad, they are usually stuck there by these fixed principles. This cause them to linger where happiness is not. When this happens they become bitter and inclined to negativity, manifesting the argumentative side
 - difficult in leaving bad relationship.

Soul
Yea, looking at North node in Taurus that says I want total commitment in relationship. I give all.
But it also said because of my idealistic view; I must practice discrimination. And this means need to set parameter. In fact high ones so that only great one that mutually wants total commitment can come near me.

Looking at the Two of Diamonds; it explain the Saturn in Nine of Hearts and Uranus in Seven of Clubs and Cosmic Lesson in Nine of Diamonds. I face all of them in age 42 to 48. Now I m 46; finally dissolved.

Father, suddenly now can see Z factually. I was so hang up in not having a partner that I idolise him. I was not even surprised at his lack of sensitivity cos I understand it since I knew about his South node in Leo. That's show how sad I am, how negligible is my parameter for romantic relationship.

Two side to a coin; on one side idealist and on the other plain stupid. That's me on romantic relationship.

Now that I used my valuation mode to see him; he only look good outside; no substance. That's what I told him previously. I tot it was big of me to still accept him knowing he is below my requirement. Now I know I totally had no parameter.

Father; no problem letting go now. He is like low level food that I had allowed into my space. Now that I come to my senses, parameter intact; I knew he is unacceptable. I have told him many times I couldn't live with his money mode.
No more. Suddenly I can see.