Stop judging myself for the downward spiral

Sept 12 mor
I m a cancer, a crab. My defense mechanism is to crawls in and hide in shell. So don't judge myself. And I can't do it now; need not put in mind; its just psychological.

Got only one hour to spare. Can only do Guru pooja and Shakti. It was lovely. Kapala Bhakti was great. Finally now loving Shakti Chalana Kriya. Took me around four years to reach here. It was nice. Feel contented during the practices.
There were little tots.

A tot came. Just see the past as a barometer for me to successfully changed my belief. The wound heals when I can change my belief.
Him choosing another gal has no reflection on me. He is not my validator.

Now at cousin sister funeral parlour. She passed away 4 years ago. Is it consider completion? Yes, for her.

Father, I truly want a change of belief. I have come so far on my own. I m Complete by myself. No more requiring any validation.

Osho - razor edge.
Because there is death, live as totally as possible. Because u cannot be certain about tomorrow, u have only got this moment.

Soul
Still can't do this yet.
Now looking at the beautiful trees in the cemetery yard. Thank You, Father for the 3 days week that allows me to be here.