Pain of the past is healed and I am freed

Sept 21 eve
Walking in the mall with mom. Suddenly tot no more dark clouds. No more of the past. Feel a sense of relief. For now, just be free.

A tot came on the previous FB message that
Imagine that the pain of past came back so u can heal and be free of it.

Soul
This morning knowing that Z's action is the way of a player and he just played his script. He tot that I m like a player too and can play the game. So I am freed from the past by knowing that there is no betrayal. Z was playing his own scripts as a player.

He was someone I need to go through for me to develop my romantic relationship strategy.
The so called partner leaving me is because they were the wrong choice in the first place cos I m truly easy to love and live with. So theirs leaving me is not a reflection of my lovability. Again it is their scripts. My only responsibility is that I did the wrong thing by not setting parameters, allowing wrong partners to come in.

Truly the veil of illusion on my karmic love has been lifted. Amen.
I know now I can see Z without any remnants of regrets or sadness or angers.

Soul
Just couldn't continue on Osho - Nanak. I m not ready.  Went back to complete Osho - razor edge.

Osho - razor edge
Everything is false in u. Ur whole personality is false. One thing is strange, that the false is more permanent than the real. The real is almost like a river, continuous change. Springs come and go, nothing remains the same. But the false stays the same. It is not alive, it is dead. Because of this strangeness humanity depends more on the false.
The real is unpredictable.

Soul
I couldn't read Osho - Nanak cos this week my connection with nature is very little. I know I have not experienced the things that Nanak would say. No point going further. Infact after doing the abridged book; I feel I only scratched the surface.
So its correct. The false seems to be more permanent than real.

Osho - razor edge
Those who are courageous - enters into the unknown; but the unknown is not the end. Very soon the unknown starts taking u into the unknowable and that is the exact space of mysticism.

Soul
Mmm, exciting. Father, let me remember in relationship I must have parameter with safety net cos I m dealing with conditioned people. But in spiritual journey, I need not.

Osho - razor edge
There is no words to describe the unknowable. One simply has a good laugh because the unknowable has always been within u, ur most intimate inner reality.
Hotei is called the laughing Buddha. As he become enlightened, he started laughing and whenever somebody would ask, "Why are u laughing? He would laugh more.

Soul
Don't think I m enlightened. But others called me laughing Buddha too.
When I m in; laughter bubble from my guts. I can't stop laughing. And when people asked me why I laugh, I would just laugh more. I truly don't know why I laugh. It just happen.
When they hug me; I laugh even more as if laughter is overflowing and their tender hugs squeezed laughter from me.