Samyama - witnessing is still the key

Sept 12 after 4

Soul
I tot this would be a bad day cos I was feeling restless. I was feeling bit sad, like a victim, start to have negative tots. I tot I must be having a Three or a Five of Clubs.
I was surprised to see my today card - Queen of Club.

The Queen of Clubs is a card of great intuition, good organizational ability and the desire to serve and nurture others with some form of knowledge or information. Like the King of Clubs, she has much authority and power. But her power comes more from the receptive side of her nature. She knows things before they happen and operates on a high mental vibration. She can be high strung and impatient.

When you get this card in your reading, it can bring success in any of the communications fields. It can help make you more receptive to your intuition and make you feel like serving others more. It is a successful card, much like the Eight or Ten of Clubs, but also present is the nurturing quality of the mother.

Soul
I was feeling down and tot that the best is just to do abridged book. the only one I got now is Osho - Nanak.
Little did I knew that not only the book gave me all the messages I need today; and it given me loads of Insight to share in my blog. Amen.

Earlier, I asked Father to give me how can I focus on knowing that I am complete on my own. What is the key? Now I got the answer.

Osho - Nanak
The only need in life is that He should fill ur vessel for u not to remain a lonely wanderer in life, that he should be ur friend and companion, or else u may seek him in many places but find him none.
Until u seek him directly, u will not attain Him. All disqualification and shortcomings vanish as soon as he is attained.
Where is the desire when the ultimate coupling has already taken place - the union with existence. After the ultimate nuptial, there is no more search for the beloved.
Wander where u will, no one besides Him can satisfy u.
When u r in love with someone, all fatique leaves you; you feel light and fresh. You are filled with cheer; all the dust of toil is shaken off.

Soul
So the key is to go back to Sadhguru, whom I can already feel his love.
Father,  what is next step?
I have been doing breathe watching, but its not easy. It is so easy to be triggerred especially when the Past is in your presence, triggering the wound. I am unable to fight with the mind. For this case, it has more power over me as the mind now has the Past in the present.
I am going back for Samyama in November. But thats like 2 months away. I need help now.
I am feeling uncertain whether I can hold on to dissolve my misguided belief that I need a partner to feel complete. This is so ingrained.

Osho - Nanak
Many a time u will forget to be a witness; u will ride the horse again and set out on your journey of thoughts, involved once again.
If u identify yourself with some tot, then u will have failed; as soon as u become aware of this, get off the horse and let the words, the thoughts, go where they will without riding them.
Just keep watching.
Gradually, u will begin to hear the footsteps of silence and experience the art of listening.
Then, when u r qualified to listen, u no longer need look for a guru, because wherever you are, there the guru is.
Under all conditions, u will hear. Once u have learned the art of listening, u will be filled with joy, because then u have become the witness; and the witness is joy itself.
Bliss is to go beyond the mind.

Soul
Last sathsang during Chik Shakti, I asked short term wish - forever being joyful.
So, Samyama is the key.
I am now ready to do that.
I recalled I said a few days ago when I knew the Past is back; that they will trigger me to activate Samyama in reality. Looks like I am on the right track. Not easy, but I am going to do it.


Osho - Nanak
All suffering arise because of ur identification with thoughts. Thoughts have brought u nothing but unhappiness and suffering, but u r not even conscious enough to realise that all suffering coincides wit tots, and bliss occurs only in the state of no-thoughts.
What is sin?
What have u been doing in the past? You have identified totally wit ur tots, constantly turning them into action and this is sin.
Stand away from ur tots, actions will crumble, the doer will be lost and all connection with the past will snap.

The act of eradicating doing is witnessing and to witness means shravana.
If a tot comes, u come along with it; when tots are not, u r not. Since ego is the name given to a collection of tots, shravana also means the ego-less state.
Through shravana alone u know the yoga and the secrets of the body. Contentment is attained.

As long as u think, u r discontented, because tots lead to thousands of suggestions; do this, do that! Tots give rise to new desires and desires lead to discontent. It is all right to use tots, but if u begin to obey them, u r in for all kind of trouble.
Tots are like drugs; if u got addicted to them, u go astray and will be confused that you won't know what to do. Tots are an addiction that has no answer. Had there been answer, u would have reached home long ago.
A real answer can only be found in the no-tot state.


Soul
I can now identify with this.