Restlessness is caused by expectations

Sept 28 eve
Just got back home. On the way some tots of past flew by. This time I just accept the tot. Not judging myself. As I said yesterday my love was real and time is required to heal. I won't judge myself.

Adhyatma Upanishad - Osho
Indifference means I make no choices.
Restlessness is caused by the expectation that 'it should not happen or should happen'. The consciousness of those who have no expectations of any kind nor any attitude or insistence against whatsoever is happening, does not become unsettled.

Similarly within us, our egos are hanging, along with unhappiness and happiness - they are all lying there within us. Pass between them as if all were fine; whatever is, is fine. No need to pay attention to them, no need to choose from them, no need to be attracted to one thing and repulsed by some other - that is what is meant by indifference.

Soul
Guess no point judging myself for having tots of past. I can only be aware and not let myself be hooked.