God giving and taking away is to evolve you further

Sept 16 eve

Did my evening walk. For the first two cycle, just enjoying the present. In the third cycle I was singing.

Did my evening Shoonya. At first couldn't get in but minutes later I was in deep.  Did Samyama with ardha Siddharna posture. Just feeling contented.

Just had a panandol as I can feel body heating up. My left forehead and eyes felt a surge of heat.

Today had some tots of the past. Now just sees it as something I go thru. Don't want to keep judging myself.

Today an ex staff asked my support for investment funds. At first I said nope. Then I tot be nice and open up. After I found out that its the same annuity funds, I said nope. But she quite assertive. I just didnt respond to the message. Parameters.

Osho - Nanak
Be completely wholly, within each moment and not here, there and everywhere. This way the subtle sight will develop gradually and u will be able to see the present moment.

Sometimes God gives and thus creates u. Sometimes he takes away and in so doing u evolve further! Sometimes suffering is necessary, because sorrow wakes u up, makes u conscious. In happiness, u r lost and asleep! In suffering u awaken.

Soul
Normally I can see. But today feeling bit down. Maybe medicine getting to me.

Osho - Nanak
If there is joy alone, the boat will only goes in circles and arrive nowhere. For it to work, the opposite is also needed. A boat moves with two oars, a man walk with two feet, and two hands are needed to work. In life u need night and day, joy and sorrow, birth and death; or else the boat keeps going round and round, reaching nowhere.

When a man perceives correctly, then u accept both joy and sorrow; dividing line is lost. Ur attachment to joy and suffering are both broken and u stand apart, free from both, having arrived at the attitude of witness.

Soul
Wow. Put that way. 
Father, that's the point of Samyama too.
Hope I m lucky this time.
Father, guess I wish I never lost. Seeing them in my present is feeling that I lost. What if I see I won instead? Would that help me?