Sept 12
I had to face the past in the eyes. It was not as bad I expected. But I couldn't face it with a smile. I can't wipe out the past yet.
After awhile I just focus on me feeling complete without a partner. Instead of focus my energy on letting go of the past, I focus on getting a new belief. It helped.
A tot came. Why he chose a gal that within my vicinity? Then I realised that his guarantee to ensure no more betrayal. So he was protecting his wound rather than trying to wound me.
Mmm, a positive tot.
Father, a tot occurred to me. Everyone is just busy on protecting their wound, not really thinking of hurting others. Just like me just now. I couldn't do eye contact because I was protecting my wound; not really to hurt him. I was given a second chance to ratify but I couldn't coz I was protecting my wound. By the time I was well and ready, the chance is gone.
Father, yea. Everyone is focus on protecting their wound. Me, too. At least I learned this today.
Osho - razor edge
Gautama Buddha - bad things don't have any beginning, but they have an end. Good things have a beginning but they don't end.
As ur consciousness grows deeper, the experiences of the good, of beauty, of joy, of ecstasy start becoming longer. When u r fully aware, then the ecstasy remains with u twenty fours a day, awake or asleep. So don't be worried about it. Just make an efforts to be more alert, to be more aware; and whatever is happening to u will become more intense, juicier, will become part of ur permanent quality - a part of ur being.
Soul
Father, thanks. I tot my insight for last 2 days went down the drain when I can't do eye contact. I was worried. But then I just focus on my breathe and new belief, I feel better.
Osho - razor edge
But it always happen; whenever something good happens to u, a fear lurking by the side, that perhaps soon it will end.
Because there is death, live as totally as possible. Because u cannot be certain about tomorrow, u have only got this moment.
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