Finally all search comes back to me, answer is within me

Sept 21 eve 1

Osho - razor edge
You are a battlefield. U r not one but a crowd, and not only a crowd but a crowd which is fighting and u don't know who u are.
Silence will bring u great gifts. And the most precious and the first gift is intelligence. A clarity of vision, a deep understanding of urself and almost all the problems start disappearing - not that u get answers from ur questions but that the questions disappears. U don't find the answer because u are the answer.

Soul
Used to tot God gives some and take some. Give me good career and professional rship but bad romantic relationships. Used to tot its because I m not lovable. Used to think is my karma.
Alas the answer was me. I did the wrong thing and hence got bad results.

Osho - razor edge
One has to be intelligent and alert not to stop before one reached to a twenty four hours continuous, ecstatic state. The journey is not long, only intelligence is needed - that u should not stop in the middle somewhere, because there are beautiful spots, very scenic. One would like to stop, thinking one has arrived - what more can there be?

Soul
The journey continues.

Osho - razor edge
Psychotherapists are just to clean the ground and meditation is to sow the seeds. Then wait patiently. When the spring comes, u will also have flowers in ur being. And to have blossomed is right.

Soul
That's what I did. My journey for self discovery was to uncover my unconscious. I can't allow unconscious to rule me without my awareness.
But the uncovering comes to a point of standstill when I reached my career - reporting. Doing reporting hurts my ego. That's when meditation first comes into my life and helped me overcome it.
Then I become strong and ask for my next lesson - my deep seated fear on romantic relationship. Without my meditation I would have run off many times. I persevered till he did a final cut. Even then I wanted to run but with meditation I persevered and I went in deeper to my Self.
Later I tot it was over but Universe brought the past back to me for me to heal. I went through both Ruling and Destiny Saturn and Uranus cards.
And uncovered that I m not jinxed nor unlovable. I just did the wrong thing so gets bad outcome.
I m healed of my deep seated fears and can look forward to next experience.
Just like I used to unconsciously seek challenges in jobs; the same I did with romantic relationship. Since I did the right thing in job, I can do the right thing in romantic relationship too. Once my eyes are open; I can only do the right thing. And with right thing, I can only have successful outcome.  Amen.