Changing my belief that I need a partner to feel complete

Sept 10 aft

Just now just had a simple lunch in the seminar. Saw my colleagues who left cos it was below their standard. To my surprise I just eat it and it was not bad. The old me would have walked away. I no longer has emotional content over food. What I eat is not me. So it no loungers dictates my valuation.


The same then why should having a partner dictates me. Father, mind was working overtime due to this valuation. I now removed this valuation.

Father, this belief that I need to have a partner to feel complete, to feel valued is what the mind is holding me on.
When I release the attachment to having a partner, then its no more. The truth is, is not him. If I now have another partner, I won't be disturbed. So, it is not him. The disturbance is from not having a partner.

And with my control issue. Partner is something I can't control as it is external and dependent on so many factors beyond my control and even beyond my partner's control.

Since my issue is only control and difficulty to Go with the Flow, the best key is to drop the belief that I need a partner for valuation, for completion.

Father, something here. And this seems to be the key to my this week Osho's tarot card of What is needed for Resolution?

 Friendliness
First meditate, be blissful, then much love will happen of its own accord. Then being with others is beautiful and being alone is also beautiful. Then it is simple, too. You don't depend on others and you don't make others dependent on you. Then it is always a friendship, a friendliness. It never becomes a relationship, it is always a relatedness. You relate, but you don't create a marriage. Marriage is out of fear, relatedness is out of love.
You relate; as long as things are moving beautifully, you share. And if you see that the moment has come to depart because your paths separate at this crossroad, you say good-bye with great gratitude for all that the other has been to you, for all the joys and all the pleasures and all the beautiful moments that you have shared with the other. With no misery, with no pain, you simply separate.

The branches of these two flowering trees are intertwined, and their fallen petals blend together on the ground in their beautiful colors. It is as if heaven and earth are bridged by love. But they stand individually, each rooted in the soil in their own connection with the earth. In this way they represent the essence of true friends, mature, easy with each other, natural. There is no urgency about their connection, no neediness, no desire to change the other into something else.
This card indicates a readiness to enter this quality of friendliness. In the passage, you may notice that you are no longer interested in all kinds of dramas and romances that other people
are engaged in. It is not a loss. It is the birth of a higher, more loving quality born of the fullness of experience. It is the birth of a love that is truly unconditional, without expectations or demands.

Soul
I have meditated deeply for past 5 years. Even the other day, I was joyfully in being. And I felt so much love for myself and truly contented. I am so at ease. Feel so blessed.
This Osho's friendlines card is similar to lifetime challenge in Seven of Heart - unconditional love.

Birth - Seven of Heart
(Dealing with attachment, unconditional love)
Affirmation - I am learning how to experience unconditional love for others and in the process, I set myself free.
It is my belief that having a partner validates me, provide me my valuation that holds me back. When I removed the belief, then the emotional connection is loosen, resulting in detachment. I have already dissolved my Seven of Heart. So, I can truly do the Friendliness card. It is the past that keeps pulling me back.
I have already realised that I am LOVE a few days ago.
I need not prove my lovability or to seek others to love. I am already love.

Soul
I think I am on the right track. And if I am. then this week Osho Resolution card - Aloneness is the result.

Aloneness
When you are alone you are not alone, you are simply lonely - and there is a tremendous difference between loneliness and aloneness. When you are lonely you are thinking of the other, you are missing the other. 

Loneliness is a negative state. Loneliness is absence of the other. 


Aloneness is the presence of oneself.Aloneness is very positive. It is a presence, overflowing presence. You are so full of presence that you can fill the whole universe with your presence and there is no need for anybody.

Soul
I am ready to face them.
Like I said earlier, their presence is to remind me how great I am. I no longer wants to be negative. Mmm, I am so glad that now my tots are positive despite the unfavourable circumstances.
Just remembered that my lifetime challenge for Ruling is Seven of Clubs

Ruling - Seven of Club
(Dealing with negativity, exposure to spiritual knowledge)
Affirmation
I am enlightening my mind and transforming my negative thoughts into positive, higher level of thinkings

Soul
Father, thanks for sending the Past back to my presence.
It is because they are in my 'face', then I had to go in deeper to find myself to face this squarely.
And because of them I finally laid both lifetime challenges Seven of Club and Seven of Hearts.

Father, thank you so much.
Truly, suffering is blessing. But the key is to switch our mind to positive thinking so we can see our way out.
Father, never I had such clarity or turnaround of positive tots like this one month.
And I think doing Shakti correctly is the one that provides me clarity of mind.

Father, with this release, I was able to send out a pix to the past who is now in the present.
He is no more my lover, he is someone husband.
He is not what I truly wanted. I want someone that can grow with me and my path is spiritual. He can't. He is very suited to his wife as both on the same level.
Me, no longer in the past too.

Father, thanks for always clearing my way, taking out things or people that does nota lign me to my spiritual growth. Amen.
Truly can see now the Ruling Card life spread of Nine of Hearts and Uranus Seven of Clubs. Everything is finally laid to rest because they are back in my life and the past is no longer there.
We now start on a clean slate.