Expression of anger, behind anger is fear

Oct 19
Father, today suria was effortless. My body loves it. Father, guess another opening. I have released my website to my boss.

(Dec 9 - Actually, she didn't even go in to see. The question is for me to reveal or express. I need not speculate or project their response.)

NN in Taurus
Validation
NN tend to toot their own horns. They often jump in and use something another person says as a springboard to focus the conversation on past history, a story illustrating how powerful they are - then they talk incessantly. Subconsciously what they are seeking is validation.

Soul
I used to be like that and was called self-promotion. I tot I stopped many years ago. Recently I can see myself doing it and I would ponder if I should say it. I would wait for awhile and if no one has anything to say, then I talked to keep the conversation going.

I just tweet this:
When u r aware of ur tots, u become conscious. U can then decide to act on ur tots or not - Self Mastery

NN in Taurus
These folks carry a lot of anger. If they look in deeper, they will see that their anger is really based on fear, fear of not being respected, not being liked, and etc. So, when they are angry in specific situation, they can ask themselves: "What am I afraid of?".

Soul
This could be true. It is somewhat related to my process insight on anger;
1. Anger
2. Hurt
3. Guilt
4. Fear
5. Love

NN in Taurus
They can never get enough validation - from others - no matter how much wealth, prestige and power they have.

The resolution to their anger involves beginning to live in ways that are self validating, in accord to their own values.

When they stop looking to others to provide their sense of self-worth and start looking inside themselves, suddenly their anger becomes productive energy.

Soul
I used to measure my lovability by how others love me. Then I stop when I realised my lovability is measured by how much I loved myself. Then I no longer as affected as before when I perceive others as not that loving to me. I don't take it as personally as before.
With that somehow, I got energy to embark on Isha volunteering.

NN in Taurus
Their real validation comes from appreciating themselves for being themselves rather than for meeting someone else's needs.

One positive, self-validating action would be to set up a financial plan for themselves. In addition, spending time each day putting energy into things that are personally meaningful for them is self-validating.

The idea is to engage in regular activities that nurture and help them feel good about themselves, regardless of the input of others. When they do this, they are on "track"

Soul
Yeap, I am on track.

I want Z so much. I just msg him so that next time we would arrange for our meet up a week plus before menses. Suddenly tot of my Osho card - postponement. Well, l can be upfront with him. No longer have to hide since I already declared my love to him.


NN in Taurus
As they remain consistently true to their own values, they will become less judgemental. They have a code of correct conduct against which they measure everyone - and most harshly themselves. They can be their own worst enemy.

When things doesn't work out the way they expect, they blame themselves for being out of alignment. Therefore they suffer twice; once with the momentary bad mood, and again by casting themselves as wrong for having had the bad mood.

Soul
True.

NN in Taurus
They often compare themselves to other people and feel jealous of what others have - this makes their lives much more complicated and much less happy!
For any of us, if what we are doing in our lives is making us happy, then we are on track. But the moment we compared to others, we lose. Someone is always higher or lower, depending on the standards we use.
NN is to learn that it is not their job to judge; it's their job to simply walk through life handling each situation the best they can and moving step by step in the direction they feel is personally meaningful.

Soul
I used to be INTJ and now changed to INTP. Judgement of others is gone, and of myself have reduced as I no longer beat myself up for not achieving/doing what I think I should.
But I have received Comparison Osho cards a few times.
Just like now with Z. I am quite fine but if I compared then I am not fine.