Dec 11
Father, today is sathsang day. Somehow there is no excitement for me. I have to remember it is sathsang day. I am totally relaxed about it.
Today I got Six of Spades and Z got Six of Hearts, we are getting more aligned.
Dec 11 Eve
Father, I miss Z. Tot of calling him but don't want him to know I miss him.
Today Sathsang was fine. I was relaxed and didn't feel I was a guide. I just participated along.
This feeling of missing him is not familiar. I don't want to miss him. He is not mine to miss. Of course, a tot came that we should let go since I am now too attached to him. It used to be once a week contact is enough but now I need twice a week.
Sadhguru said we r here to live, not to avoid life. Anyway, I msg him.
He called me back and we chatted. I also asked him why we are now only meeting once a month, he said its because of cashflow. He too wanted us to meet up more frequently. He wanted me to go to his place tonight.
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