Feeling good (2)

Sept 26 Aft

Father, its great. I recalled eons ago, HH and I plan to do a project together. She and I first touch on self discovery tools. Whereas C was on new age tools.

Father, something is changing in me. No response from Z on my msg and I am fine. Now I know he is an Indirect person. Besides he is so busy. And I also can see that his lack of immediate response was just the catalyst to make me work on my whole inner self, to be self-sufficient even when in relationship. That used to be my Achilles heels. Father, just a sense of calm.

I like my hair. Finally I feel like I looked like a woman now, at the ripe age of 44. No more girlish look. Amen.
And for the first time in many years, I want to wear dresses once more, especially during my meetup with Z. He brought out the woman in me.

1. The Issue
Creativity
Creativity is the quality that u bring to the activity
Whatsoever u do, if u do it joyfully, if u do it lovingly, if ur act of doing is not purely economical, then it is creative.
Really the experience of creativity is an entry into the mysterious. Technique, expertise and knowledge are just tools; the key is to abandon oneself to the energy. Then it is both a joy for the creator and a blessing to others.

Soul
Yea. Now I am re-directing myself back to my writing and active in Isha.

2. Internal influence that u r unable to see
Beyond Illusion
When we focus on externals, we too often get caught up in judgements - this is good, this is bad, I want this, I don't want this. These judgements keep us trapped in our illusions, our sleepiness, our old habits and patterns.

The space between the two eyes has opened, revealing the lotus of spiritual unfoldment and the rising sun of awareness. Through the rising of the inner sun, meditation is born.

Soul
I have been getting this card.
I am changed. Father, I felt a sense of calm now that is similar when my eyes is closed. I feel the connection to my Self. I start to giggle silently.

3. External u r aware
The Source
Zazen means just sitting at the very source, not moving anywhere, a tremendous force arises, a transformation of energy into light and love, into greater life, into compassion, into creativity. It can take many forms.
But first u have to learn how to be at the source. Then the source will decide where ur potential is. U can relax at the source, and it will take u to ur very potential.
Pure energy, pulsating, available, it is ready to give us anything we need to accomplish something, and ready to welcome us back home when we want to rest.
So, whether u r beginning something new and need inspiration right now, or u have just finished something and want to rest, go to the Source.

Soul
I am ready to start. Connect with Source and got HH on board next year. I do need a partner for me to bounce ideas and review my work. HH is perfect as she understand my work.

4. What is needed for resolution Laziness
The journey isn't over yet, as that white bird flying into the vastness of the sky is trying to show. Ur complacency might have arisen from a real sense of achievement, but now its time to move on.

Soul
Yes, I know next year my work will be different.
On Z, I have reached a comfortable level with him. I have accepted us and now just need to seal the bond.

(Oct 2 - yea...wrong. I braced my comfort zone and told him I am ready to settle down.

5. Resolution
Suppression
His light still shines within, but he has repressed his own vitality trying to meet so many demands and expectations. He has given up all his own power and vision in return for being accepted by the very same forces that have imprisoned him
Shake up ur energy and allow it to circulate freely. Release whatever tensions and stresses inside u.

Soul
My tension and stresses is all released. My energy is activated and now need to be acted on.