Overcoming lifetime challenge - Seven of Hearts

Nov 2

Father, something is happening. Yesterday Z told me that he is scared whenever he sees the word love from me, and even asked me to change to "like" instead. I told him that I love him and I just be myself. I was surprised that I was calm as that is definitely a rejection of my love.
Anyway, I tot this morning I may have different feeling, but its still the same, I love him. My love for him is not conditional upon him loving me.
Now it is confirmed he does read my BB profile and he is silent when he doesn't respond to me. I also know that I am in his mind.

4. What is needed for resolution? Harmony
Listen to ur heart, move according to ur heart, whatsoever the stake. U have to lose all to be simple. Only a simple heart sings with God in deep harmony.

Soul
I am staying put. I will leave when he asked me to.

5. Resolution
Schizophrenia
The whole effort of Zen is to drop schizophrenia, to drop this split personality to be come undivided and integrated. Then happiness is possible.

Soul
I am staying put.

Scorpio South Node - similar to Ace of Diamond Ruling.
SN people are learning that relationships go beyond the fulfillment of their personal needs. Its the powerful bond between two people who recognise and validate each other uniqueness.

SN people are very much concerned with self. Their focus tends to be on "me, mine, now" because they are dealing with a heavy overlay of narcissism.

SN people are hyperaware of their own needs. In order to get their needs met, they seek attention by displaying their wealth, status, talents - or any other are in which they shine. It's all about them; "This is who I am - aren't I great?".

Interestingly, these people often have a childhood history of being invalidated on a personal level by one or both parents. So, in order to feel good about themselves in that environment, they learned to sing their own praises.
However, what worked as a coping device in childhood will not bring them the relationships they long for in adult life. But until they become conscious, the native will continue to "entertain" others instead of really connecting with them. If they don't make the effort to get to know others, their relationships will be based on "shining" for others instead of creating a real connection and bond, which is why they so often end up alone.
The irony is that if the native would stop being absorbed in fulfilling their own needs and focus on supporting their partner, they will give back and take care of native's needs.

When they finally realise that rships require this process in order to thrive, they will be able to shift their focus to supporting their partner.

Soul
This is so true in the past. I have reduced my self promotion. These days I also shared about my "sadness" instead of just "glory".
I am also trying to get to know Z. Actually he knows me more than I know him.
Yea, this is second time he asking for my help with his ex. I will do it.
What I aspire to do is the same as what my NN already has.



Nov 2 Aft
Father, I turned down E because I don't really want to have such a demanding role.

Let's face it. I know I will still be working as I do enjoy the corporate world and I have the brains.

Now looking at what I do day in day out, it is quite mundane. I don't really enjoy it or have satisfaction. The only thing I am proud of is the 1 day off. The other thing is I am looking forward to the food, which may not be a good thing.

Now I receive V's msg to give him CV as they need a Regional director to manage AP and China. And they are on acquisition mode, which I think involves corporate finance, something that I haven't tackle before.


I got 5 of Spades.
Strongest indicators of travel or moving ur home or ur business. At it most basic level, it means a change in ur lifestyle, or the things u do day in and day out. When this card appears, something will change that affects the way u live or the things that u do each day.

Soul
So, the only thing I want is 4 days week. I don't mind the work per se. On Isha, to me I want to focus on the practices. Mmm, what I want.

Mmm, like Sadhguru said I was lost in my imagination. So, my fear was not real. I was temporarily insane.