New level - laughing during aum chanting

Oct 27
Father, today practice was amazing. I slept later around 11 plus from watching Sadhguru youtube compilation. I felt so energised and when I woke up at 3.45 am I felt fresh. I did my suria and it was good. Then did my shakti, these few days I noticed my head starts shaking whenever I did the 16 steps breathe.

Then I did shambavi and I was laughing so much during aum chanting. This has never happen before. I never like aum chanting and infact it took me nearly 2 years before I got it right. When people shared about aum chanting experience, I always dismissed it. My only take was at times, the energy increased and my head starts to shakes. And the other day when the gal shared that aum chanting in sathsang makes her so happy. I was surprised. And now I myself experienced such joy during aum chanting that it spilled out into uncontrollable laughter. Amazing. I wonder whether it could be due to the videos, overload exposure to Sadhguru.

I am fresh even while driving to work. Just feeling happy and contented.

This is the first time I watched Sadhguru video for 1 hour. I used to avoid it cos I didn't want to be energised and shake head in my house. But now I know I can watch in my notebook in the privacy of my room. Suddenly I tot of getting the whole compilation of Sadhguru's dvd from Ashram.

The Passion Test
Your speed on the cosmic highway is directly related to your ability to trust in the benevolence of the universe.
Life is designed for ur joy. It is designed to allow u to experience ever-increasing fulfillment.
What u believe, u will create. Old beliefs can sometimes be hard to change. When u begin to believe that life is ultimately kind, u will start to find that evidence. When u believe that every experience is a blessing, u will start to find those reasons.

Soul
Positive
I used to think Life is fair. I also believe suffering is blessing. I believe God always open a window when a door is closed. I believed good food is for me. I believed the world is safe and I am protected. I also believed I am meant to be happy.

Negative
I believe everything comes with a price. I believe commitment is burdensome. I believed love is commitment. I believed love is suffering. I believe love is challenging.

Mmm, no wonder I avoid love. What I found out is that with love, commitment comes naturally. Just like my love for yoga results in my commitment. My love for Z results in my commitment.

The Passion Test
As u begin to embrace the idea that life is here for ur joy, then every moment is a gift, showing u the path to fulfillment.

Soul
I like that. I am already feeling joyful during meditation and at times off meditation. I can do that.

The Passion Test
As ur trust that things will work out well grows, the speed with which u manifest ur dreams will increase dramatically.

Soul
I want my relationship with Z to develop into a long term committed relationship. I was doubtful since day one. But our fling is now a long term fling that will continue into next year. And we have grown closer and we still like each other.

What I want is our relationship to be out of closet and we can share our joy with both our families and friends.


Oct 27 Eve
Mmm, suddenly I missed him and wonder how he was. Heart wanted to call but mind says no. Says that he is sleeping, say that he is unreachable, ask me not to call since we spoke on Monday, keep my pride.

Anyway, I went into Osho card for the week;
What to do? Innocence
Resolution - release of judgements.

Actually I already declared my love for him, so why bother to keep my face. Yea, I just realised the mind's modus operandi is defense mechanism - to prevent loss of pride, loss of face, rejection and etc. Mmm, all the defenses is actually to prevent so called bad things to happen. It is as if we are so weak that we need to defend ourself every moment. Now I know what is meant by defenselessness is strength.