Opening up the suppresed anger - confronting

Sept 28
Father, a new beginning. Mmm, my dream are answered, I want a change in the company. We need to revamp and have a new team.

Father, look like its a new beginning. Both P and C is also not happy with the way M handle it. They agreed that once a Lead has been appointed, she should be empowered and not undermined. But they want me to inform M personally so he won't lose face infront of them. Actually to me, there is no seniority in Isha.

Alas, I am opening up.

Sept 28 Eve
Father, what an explosive meeting. Everything happens for a reason.
From teacher's reply mail to our request for extension of IE date and to M's reply and the trigger of my suppressed anger at M.

With that energy, I found out that Isha is more important to me than my job. I was more affected over Isha. And I was mulling over the role I want to play in Isha, I realised that I want to spend my time in bringing back the current members and not running crazy after new members. And our new members retention rate is only 10%. So, we forever have to do recruitment drive and with only marginal increase.
Then an idea occur to me. To hell with IE. Let's focus on existing members and get them to do BSP instead and I felt energised. Later I return call to P and she too felt the same.
I went to the meeting and shared my idea. They all accepted it. Then my suppressed anger at M was released, and we also raise S"s issue and the group got much closer.

We decided not to have IE this year and to ask for IE in 5 months time. Meanwhile, we work on getting the core members back into the fore. Target for BSP in 8 months.

Father, suddenly tot of this week Osho cards. It is true.

1. Creativity
To be open to what wants to be expressed through u. Remember we don't possess our creations; they do not belong to us. True creativity arises from a union with the divine, with the mystical and the unknowable. Then it is both a joy for the creator and a blessing to others.
Soul
Little did I realise that I finally got myself to direct Isha. I am Isha Director and set its vision.

2. Internal influence.
Beyond Illusion
Not to look outside for what is real, but to look within. These judgements on externals keeps us trapped in our illusions, our sleepiness, our old habits and patterns.
Drop ur opinionated mind.

Soul
Suddenly everything falls into place despite all the "don't like".

3. External influence
The Source
The source will decide where ur potential is. U can relax at the source, and it will take u to ur very potential.
Within each of us, there is pure energy, pulsating and available. It is ready to give us anything we need to accomplish something, and ready to welcome us back home when we want to rest. So, whether u r beginning something new and need inspiration right now, you have just finished something and want to rest, go to the Source.

Soul
Yeap.

4. What is needed for resolution
Laziness
The msg is that this poolside resort is not ur final destination. The journey isn't over yet, as that white bird flying into the vastness of the sky is trying to show.

Soul
Yea, firstly major change at work and now major revamp at Isha and I am leading both.

5. The understanding
Suppression
The house whereby u throw into basement things that u want to do but u cannot because of social conditions, culture, civilization. But they go on collecting there, and they affect ur actions, ur life, very indirectly. Directly, they canot face u - u have forced them into darkness, but from the dark side they go on influencing ur behaviour. They are dangerous. It is dangerous to keep all those inhibitions inside u.
Find a way to release whatever tensions and stresses might be building up inside u right now.

Soul
Yeap, all come out. The anger came out and so did the creation. Both are passion but operates at different ends. Energy with suppressed dark side is anger.

Amen. Thank u for everything.