My body asserting itself

Nov 22 Aft

Father, I heard some 'disturbing' info on MD. She said some not nice things about me. I also realised she bring herself up by bringing others down.

At first my defense mechanism was triggered but immediately an alternative tot came in and said it is good she said I am not creative and following rules. Then I have done my job and make my life easier.

Evening
Father, I am tired of outside food. This is like a continuous 3 weeks of outside food. Tomorrow, go for porridge. My body is saying no to food. For the first time in my life, I wanted to go off food.

I just vomited my guts out. As I was vomiting, I thank my body for purging it out from my stomach as I wasn't feeling good. I know I shouldn't have taken the dinner. The body said no, but my mind says yes.

Infact, this morning, my stools was purged out funnily. I knew something I ate disagree. But I ignored it and continue to eat.

Father, thanks to my body.

Father, why my mind insist? I know food is in my Top 5 but I don't have to over do it. It has been non stop for nearly 3 weeks.

I tot of P with her vegetarian mode. She ate little and infact she said she ate most during volunteer meet. And to me, that was the least I ate and it is vegetarian.

Father, my body cannot take what my mind desires anymore. My body is asserting itself. Just like it assert that it want Z, it is now asserting me to stop eating.

Just like Z pitying his car, I too pity my body. Just because I have the license to eat without growing, doesn't mean that I have to push it.