Settling down with Z (4)

Oct 11

Father, thank U. Was feeling off yesterday and was not sure why. But now I knew its about Z. I can look at it 2 ways, things are still the same on the surface, we r still separate. But part of me know that somehow Z and I have bonded as now our meet up is more on snuggling with each other, hugging each other tightly and yet feel so comfortable. And we r going for a trip. So, just go with it. I love him and we r happy. Don't compare.

The thing is he finally got in. I didn't even realise as there was no pain at all, just a sense of fullness like when he kiss me. Now we r going all the way. This time while he is doing the pushing in, I will focus on both our psychic energy to make the finale great for both of us.

North Node in Taurus
What I aspire to be
Merging with others
In the past they were the queen or courtesan behind King and were privy to inside scoop but decision made by others. They were the counselor to the Chief, Prime Assistant to the President. They fed all their power, energy and charisma to their more powerful mate and in exchange received validation and appreciation from that one person as acknowledgement of their worth.

In the past lives, the person of power clothed, fed and pampered Taurus NN. All NN has to was to stay bonded to that person and help fulfill his or her desires.

Soul
Actually it is now. I always seems the be second in command to the Head Chief.

NN in Taurus
These folks were experts at psychology in past lives as strategists and counselors, penetrating the psychology of others to understand their motives and needs and predict their behaviour.
They were around people who were unstable, helping them uncover their mental or emotional dysfunction, healing them and receiving financial protection in return.

Soul
I am great at this now.

Healing affirmation for South Node in Scorpio
Embracing change will lead to vitality
When I choose energizing change, I win;
when I choose the status quo, I lose
The alternative to change is stagnation
As I empower others, they recognise my worth
When I look deeply into others' values and motives, I know whom to trust.

Affirmation for Z - SN in Leo
The only person who can create my happiness is me.
If I am having fun, I am on track
When I follow the impulses of the child within, I win
I win when I actively create the results I want
When I relate to the child in others, everybody win
When I bring joy to others, I feel included.

Soul
Suddenly it occur to me, Z's love interest are all the gals that approached him first. Candidates comes to him.

Actually, I think I am the only one he called. He initiated it with the call for diving. And he doesn't even know how to swim.
So, no wonder he said there is no candidates. No gals are after him yet.