Slowly but surely overcoming lesson of seeking validation

Oct 23
Father, 2 days I didn't meditate nor do my morning walk. I am fine. But tots of Z comes to play. What's next. But I managed it by saying the journey is not over yet and I know I be fine, whatever the outcome is.

I wonder where are we. Then I realised its comparison again. I also recalled I declared my love but he said nothing and nothing is changed. A tot came, it did change our rship and he becomes more loving. He said his body wants to hug me and he just follows. He also said feelings come slow to him but something came up. Aiyah, looks like things have changed somewhat. Just stop thinking of future.

I told my mom I be away. She asked I be going to my friend's place again and I said yes.

Father, try to call him but no response. I wonder whether this is my projection or rather my attraction. Before I call, I normally foresee he is unreachable and most of the time he is. But these days, I just predict he would call me back, which he normally does.

ACIM
God's teachers' major lesson is to learn how to react to magic tots wholly without anger.
Only in this way can they proclaim the truth about themselves. Now He can remind the world of sinlessness, the one unchanged, unchangeable condition of all that God created. Now is He free to teach all minds the truth of what they are, so they will gladly be returned to him.

In order to heal, it thus becomes essential for the teacher of God to let all his own mistakes be corrected. If he senses even the faintest hint of irritation in himself as he responds to anyone, let him instantly realise that he has made an interpretation that is not true. Then let him turn within to his eternal Guide, and let Him judge what the response should be.

The sole responsibility of God's teacher is to accept the Atonement for himself. Atonement means correction, or the undoing of errors. When this has been accomplished, the teacher of God becomes a miracle worker by definition. His sins have been forgiven him, and he no longer condemns himself. How can he then condemn anyone? And who is there whom his forgiveness can fail to heal?

Soul
Not sure. But these days I no longer take his unreachability or his non-response personally. If I want to, I just followed thru with a msg and he will call me back. Amen.