Opening up to change - getting shaky

Nov 7
Father, did my practice today and it was fine. Went for a walk instead of hata as the mat is still bit wet.

Nine of Diamonds
When money does seem to be lost under Nine of Diamonds, keep in mind that this is just the preparation for a new cycle of incoming money. Sometimes we need to spend some money to stimulate more to come in.

(Dec 17 - I spend 25k on renovation and new job with more income is coming in. I will recover the renovation costs in8 months.

Nov 7 Eve
Father, I called him cos I am feeling bit edgy but there was no response. This time I send him a msg.

I am bit disturbed and it could be due to money flowing out or maybe not as I have expected it. Okay, at least my wardrobe and bed is now less 1500 than what I budget which helps to cover for the additional costs required for the bathroom.

I am disturbed cos there is lot of things to do tomorrow. As for the work, I can push ERM to 14 Nov, so I am fine lah. And I also need to send CV to V tomorrow. But I think it is more the latter as CV is already prepared and I am sure that I want a 4 days work. So, the chance of getting it is slim. So, stay put.

I think the stress is also due to memorising work for Isha kriya and then the sathsang as teacher will be coming, earlier starting time and new hall.

Just now when I saw the cards, karma 6, settling down of rship. I tot perhaps that Z has decided to end us. Well, I have given that option, so maybe that could be it.

Father, I felt better now. I have identified my restlessness and I have questioned it. No need to stress myself. Like Sadhguru said, suffering is only in the mind. And when we question it, it evaporates.

As for Z, need not take it personally. I know he won't ignore my calls and I know he is just sleeping cos tomorrow he is travelling.