Feeling good (4)

Oct 2
Father, did my 3 rounds of walk. Lovely. My feet was bit painful after 2nd round but I persevere and it was fine.

Just tot of 2 things;
1. Yesterday destiny card was King of Hearts - strong control over my emotion and able to handle relationship well.

When I read it in the late afternoon, I scoffed at it because I am nowhere there. I was still feeling disturbed about Z and no way in hell I am anywhere near there. So, I tot this was not true at all.

When I read Z's card, Jack of Spades in Mercury, which means initiation to new ideas or lifestyle.

Around 9 pm, I finally went up my room and had a good cry to release all the pent up emotion. Then moments later I called Z and we talked around one hour and forty minutes. This is our first intimate discussion since we got back together. I declared my love for him, I told him I am ready to settle down and I want a committed relationship. We both have different goals. While we don't have any candidates, we need to have a plan.
I felt at ease after our conversation.

2. Osho Card - Resolution
Suppression
All the inhibitions that I suppressed will be expressed. I have found my healing outlet. I have released the tensions and stressed that have been built up inside me on Z.

So, alas, my tools did lead me right. Amen.

What Z likes about me:
1. Communication
He likes that I am transparent and we are able discussed everything.
(He said that's very important in a relationship)
He likes that I understand him

2. Personality
He likes that I am genuine.

3. We can tell each other off
Guess this is where we r best friend for each other.

Father, this time I was even able to tell him God must really love him to send me to him. Does he know that he is lucky to have me? He said he knows.

Father, for the first time, I am able to flaunt my worth. I am a blessing in a relationship.

Wouldn't it be nice if he realised that being happy is more important than keeping to plan. The next time I am going to ask him if he was happy when he was in marriage and with kids.

Father, Z told me that I am the only one who knew about his dire financial circumstances. He never told anyone. Father, like me he also operates on self-containment. We don't share our troubles.