Settling down with Z (14) - Z's unreachability has nothing to do with me.

Nov 6
Father, did my walk in the public garden. I was awed by the greenness of the surrounding grass lawn. Amazing colours, something I haven't seen before. The walk was quite effortless and in no time I completed the weeklywalk.

Nov 6 Eve
Father, I just called Isha meditators and I enjoyed doing it. I feel light.
I wanted to share my feeling of happy with Z. But I couldn't reach him. At first, slight negative tot and I tot he is unreachable again and I wanted to msg him. Then I stop myself, do I really need to speak to him, and the answer is nope.

Once I was calm, I remember he said he doesn't keep his phone near him as when he is not working, he wants to be off the phone so that he can becomes unreachable. So, need not take it personally. Perhaps I should be glad that it is so cos when he is with me, he also put his phone on silent and left it on table. The same goes when he is on business. I just realised he got a one track mind.

Just now a negative tot flies thru. U r not important, u r not family, u r not his business, u r not in his priority. True to an extent. Anyway, he is not my first.

South Node in Scorpio
What these people really want is money. They want to accumulate financial resources and material possessions to gain a sense of comfort and stability so they can begin to "really live".

Soul
No wonder, money is so important to me. I must have money. And all these times I tot I don't have enough money yet to live in a nicely renovated master bedroom. And now I know I have. Its true I feel bit uneasy of 'losing" the money to gain the comfort but I will be fine.

And that is why I also have reservation of committing to Z as his financial position is lousy and it is too fearful for me to live without having a pile of money for support, even if I don't use it.

(Dec 17 - true, no wonder I always leave beneath my means. I don't dare to spend as I tot I must have a lot before I can spend)

North Node in Taurus
What these people really want is to merge with someone else's energy and feel mutual empowerment. They are looking for total, permanent commitment. They want a partner whom they can count on to take care of all their material needs, and they will take care of all the partner"s emotional needs (vice versa) - a synergistic relationship that is mutually empowering and completely dependable.

For this to happen, they must first get in touch with their own values. They must become strong within themselves, aware of what they want, tune in to what is real and meaningful for them.

The challenge is to establish their own energy systems and figure out who they are as individuals. As their energy becomes stronger, they will automatically attract mates of similar energy with whom they can form successful partnership.

Soul
But alas, the reservation on money issue has reduced so much as I know that while Z is tight, I am fine and I can support our lifestyle comfortably. I also recognised the diamond in him.

(Dec 17 - we have been together for nearly 1 year and the diamond that I saw in him is still there..it is real.)

Z - South Node in Leo
What they really want is to receive love. Their need to experience the loving energy of others is nearly insatiable. To successfully bring this energy into their lives, they need to first give love by cheering people up - they know how to use the limelight to make others happy.

Soul
No wonder he wants children. Children is easily made happy and will love u.


Z's North Node in Aquarius.
What these people really want is to be in love; to be adored and share "center stage" with someone who returns their passion. To reach this goal, they must learn to go with the flow - to tell the universe what they want and let life bring others who will recognise and adore them. They need to learn to receive love naturally - to be alert to the window of opportunity and respond to those who come in their lives to love them. Spending time with like-minded people, attract lovers who can also be friends and give them the support they need. When they focus on enacting their altruistic dreams, life will send them special people to charge their dreams with romantic energy.