Cosmic Lesson (58) - Transformation

May 20

Father, this is what I see now
1. He wants me and I am his best sex partner to date. He never had so much pleasure and fun in sex. I am the first gal he has post mortum with. When I leave him, he would miss me for the pleasure I gave him.
2. He does not love me
3. He does not see me as his life partner.
4. He thinks I am here for short term and he predict our relationship would end by year end with me running away
5. He wants me to stay with him and want to prolong the rship until he is finally successful and can look for his life partner.

Me
1. I am falling in love with him
2. I do want him as my life partner
3. I want him now as he is my growth tool.

So, I will continue as this seems to be my path. Who knows, what will happen 6 months down the road. For this six month, I know he will stick with me.

I finally understand my this week Osho card. Even when I knew he doesn't love me nor see me as his potential life partner, I am still willing to open up. Amazingly, I got my first physical release and it was wonderful. I was connected to Source and exploded into joy and uncontrollable laughter. Thank God it was Z.

Sharing
As u move above to the heart center, ur whole life becomes a sharing of love
The Queen of Fire is so rich, so much a queen, that she can afford to give. She dispenses her treasures without limits, welcoming all and sundry to partake of the abundance, fertility and light that surrounds her.
When u draw this card, u too have an opportunity to share ur love, ur joy and ur laughter. And in sharing, u find that u feel even more full.
Everything around u seems to be "coming together" now. Enjoy it, ground urself in it, and let the abundance in u and around u overflow.

Soul
I finally concede that he only wanted me for short term. And he also think that I wanted him for short term.
I am surprised that I don't mind. Forget about future, I don't know. What I know is that we want each other now and we cannot let go of each other.

I am willing to face possible abandonment in future. And besides it may be me who abandons him and not the other way around. As he has 9 of Hearts in long range and I have a displacement of Three.

He is perfect as my first partner. When I reached my climax, I exploded into continuous laughter. This doesn't seem to be the normal mode and he said since he had been observing me laugh in meditation mode for the past 1 year since July (the first time he like me), he is fine with my laughter.