I am transforming (22) - My face is radiant, my face is calm

Apr 19 Eve

Father, he came back for last day of IE. I am surprised and glad to see him. Z told me that I should at least carry one thing, but I said nope. Then I went to carry the water container but had difficulty in opening up the cover. Z saw me and helped me and said his role is to do all the menial tasks for me. I like that.


We had a group dinner and he seems to be quite open with me. He ate from my plate of noodles using my cutlery. Everyone looked at him. By right the protocol is to wait for his own plate and scoop some to his own plate. He shouldn't be eating using my cutlery as it shows familiarity. Also I think he may have informed his best friend about us, as the guy keep on saying that Z is 'my friend' and was looking at me differently. And Z seems to be angry at him and say that his friend should stay 'silent' forever.
Ego said how, people know. But second tot is that this is a happy problem. Besides, I prefer this to be out in open rather for us to hide it. No reason to do especially when both of us are single and available.
Today L was looking at me with a smile. He said that when he turned back and he saw me as the prettiest gal he has seen, like a vision. I laughed. He said its true. He has seen me all these while but he just saw me as so pretty just now. The first time he saw me, he saw me as shining. This is the first time he saw me as so pretty.

M said he knew me for so long and he now see the calmness in me and it is real and not forced out or pretend.

Father, looks like my role in Isha is here to stay.

Osho
Freedom, liberation of the mind, happens not from changing one's beliefs but from becoming free from belief itself.
People who believe are unable to reach any understanding. People who accept silently are unable to have any experience of their own.
People who are restless and "accept only when they see with their own eyes," needs to be there in the mind.
U have to walk on ur own feet, u have to see with ur own eyes, u have to live by ur own heartbeat.