Cosmic Lesson (59) - Transformation/Settlement of love

May 20 Eve

52 days card
The Basic Meaning of the Six of Diamonds
Whenever this powerful stabilizing influence is present in your cards you can bet there will be some sort of settling of accounts. Though this usually takes the form of financial debts being paid or repaid, it can manifest in payments of other forms of 'value'. The Six of Diamonds will also encourage you to make compromises where money is concerned and to take full responsibility for all your debts and actions that involve exchange of value.

Soul
I had a Seven of Spade in Ruling card. Looks like I owe him.


Today card.
The Basic Meaning of the Ace of Diamonds
The Ace of Diamonds means the desire for money or the birth of a new way of earning money. All Aces represent new beginnings, a desire for something that starts a new cycle of creating. Aces are the representatives of pure creative energy.
Diamonds represent our value systems, the things that we like or dislike, treasure or discard. So, the Ace of Diamonds means that we experience the birth of a new value or that we suddenly like or want something that we didn't before.

Soul
52 days is a settlement of value. I had made a promise to love him back in early Feb and now is payback time. It is true he doesn't love me, but I know this is my path

Today is a day I have a new value - seeing he doesn't love me nor want me as his lifetime partner and yet am fine. I no longer let my fear dictate me. What I want is to love and be loved. And he does like me now, just like I like him. And I am falling in love with him, whereas he is only mentally intrique by me and he is sexually infatuated with me.

He wants to know if I am able to control my feelings for him as he doesn't want me to be attached to him. I told him that I am handling it and that's why I need to set expiry date.

He finally knew I am on contraceptive pill and he seems so happy about it. He said "Bingo!" Actually he is contradictory. On one hand he doesn't want me to develop feelings for him and yet he seems so happy whenever he found evidence that I had feelings for him. And he would try to find evidence that I like him. By right he should be sad cos then he has to end it. That part, I cannot relate. Oh now I know, because he wanted a later rather than sooner expiry date, but he definitely want an expiry date.

(May 30 - Father, I used to think that he wanted to know how much I like him so he can end it. Now I am not so sure, perhaps he wanted to know how much I like him so he can deepen it.)

I checked out my Transformation card and it all point to go for it and the lesson is unconditional love.