Cosmic Lesson (62) - Facing my ego breakdown consciously

May 23 Eve

Father, the situation with Z humbled me once more. Today, I acted with compassion to YL and A.
I find myself not resenting that they ask questions. But I even offer to help.
Everyone has their trigger points. It is just that my trigger point is not at work, mine is in rship.
Once I can have emphaty for others, I too can have emphaty for my own trigger points.

Father, thank u for bringing me back to Love. You are right, my power leads to arrogance.

Apr 12 blog
Breakthrough
It is the greatest adventure in life to go through a breakdown consciously. And without facing this danger nobdoy has ever become integrated, nobody has ever become an individual, indivisible.
The dawn is not far away but before u can reach the dawn, the dark nights has to be passed through. And as the dawn comes closer, the night will become darker.

Soul
I am experiencing this now. I know I am going to open the final door despite the fact that Z and I won't be a couple.

I am going through my plan because of my spiritual growth. The night is getting darker. Let me hope for my self integration once I open up all my doors to him.

I now understand what the others faced at office. I can no longer judged them. Thanks for humbling me, for bringing out compassion towards others and myself. Thanks for bringing out the love in me. Amen.

Tears came to my eyes. Bit delayed reaction from last Friday. But alas I can let my feeling come out. Will have a good cry in the car.

Evening
Let some small scream in the car. Tears come a little and stop. Suddenly don't feel the need to cry. I just feel the trees and get energy from them.

When I return back home, there were msg from him. Previously I would have taken that opportunity to call back. Instead I just replied his query and when he responded again, I just ignored it. Don't feel like talking to him today.
I just remember we r not a couple, need not entertain him per se. Need not worry about him being slighted. I just want to be alone tonite. Tired partly due to allergy pill and also sad that I finally come to my senses, we are not to be. Besides its about time he has a taste of his medicine, being non-responsive.

The Science of Mind
If we wish for a certain good, we must instill into our own minds, a realisation of this specific good and then ---- as this idea is the mold we place in mind --- it will be filled by the substance necessary for the complete manifestation of the good in our lives.

Soul
True, m feeling negative. But its time I woke up. I already lost. Just had to complete the battle by opening the last door of surrender.