Cosmic Reward (26) - giving love

Apr 25 Eve

Father, I send him the text at nearly 3 pm and there was no response from him. Surprisingly I was fine. Totally no tots of abandonment. I was bz and I knew he was too. By now I learnt that he is merely unreachable, I need not take it personally. He did reply around 8.40 pm.

Father, am I finally transforming? I guess I got used to him. Changed my mode, otherwise I would continue to suffer.

Now updating my blog and saw this;
My tots when we were at our first date and he shared his sorrow about his divorce.
"No worries, ur time has come. I will love u, u need not beg for it anymore"

Wow, such a Giver. What make me have such tot!

This is a good reminder as I am finally pondering to give him the assurance he needed. In giving him the assurance he needed, I healed myself.

Previously I tot he keep on asking me if I like him, is to gauge my liking level and to dampen it and control it. Now looking at it, is not rationale and also I was so negative.

A tot just came on why he needs to find justification for me to continue with our activity. Father, he is a real diamond. Always a guardian. I have dreamed of a partner that will take care of me, that will guard me physically. He does it very well. Let me then gave him the emotional caring as he has given me the physical caring.

Father, physically he is stronger than me. But emotionally I am stronger than him. He is afraid to be vulnerable, whereas I have already open up.


Osho
One can often see beauty of the body, but beauty of the soul is rarely seen. But when the beauty of the soul appears, even the ugliest body becomes the most beautiful flower.

Soul
Tot of what L saw in me. He said I was so pretty, like a vision.

Osho
Only a person who has risen above the need to ask for love can give love.
Love is sharing, it is not begging. Love knows only giving, it does not know anything about asking.
Remember someone who asks for love, will never, ever get.
Love only comes to the door of a house where the desire for love has disappeared. Love starts showering on the house of someone who has stopped asking for love.
Love will not flow towards an asking heart. The asking heart does not have the kind of receptivity that makes it possible for love to enter.