Cosmic Reward (45) - Z and I opening up to each other

May 12

Father, I miss him. I remember especially the time he rushed back from outstation to be with me. When he kissed me to wake me up.

Going back to his questions on why I like him, how much I like him, what made me choose him. He has the courage to ask me those questions. He wanted to hear outright what's my answers will be.

He said he want to ask cos he already knows how he feel but he doesn't know how I feel and he has to drag the answers out of me.

For me, the truth is I didn't ask because I don't dare to know the answer and because I don't want to give him answer either.

Now I know why he cannot take it if I ignored him. He will sit next to me. Father, nowadays I am comfortable with him and I acknowledge him as being a close friend. And I realised the more I acknowledged him the more he opens up. And when I gave him the hug, he even call me up. Later when I called him at the airport he asked me more questions. For the first time I realised he asked me because he wants to know where he stands with me.

And if I too feel the same way. Just like when I snuggle on top of him and I told him I like it. He asked if I like it a little or a lot. I replied a lot and he responded he also like me snuggle to him a lot. Father, I recalled he wouldn't let me go on our second date. He wanted me to continue to snuggle to him eventhough its after 1.30 am and by the time he let go of me, it was nearly to 2 am. So, we snuggled close to 1 hour.

Father, I was so negative previously that I tot he was querying to gauge how I am feeling so he could control my feelings for him.

Now I can finally see and I opened up to him. And in turn he too open up. Thanks to D and the movie, "No string attached", I finally turned my negativity around