The only proof of ur desire is the effort u make to satisfy it.

Apr 10
Father, today the mind runs tot of the Kailash gal remarks that it doesn't take long to set up. And I guess when we wanted to train them, they said that we are trying to absolve our responsibility. Father, how come such tot occur to them? We are all volunteer. Anyway, net net I realised I was reacting cos I tot she was judging my request to come earlier for set up. We used to come at 4.30 pm and then slide to 5 pm. And I want to bring it back. I also realised I took her remarks personally. Instead of seeing her as judging me, why not see her as escaping her responsibility instead. Ah ha! U can only see what u have in u.

Tot of Z too. Wonder why we can't be open and date like normal, with weekends and etc. Then I realised I am not willing to let go of my weekend routines too. So, be it. Besides my card is not to compare.


Apr 10 Eve
Its after sathsang, and I felt great because I was able to connect to the Source and release my energy. I am glad I don't have to sit at the chair. So, I can move more freely. I felt so energised.
Everyone enjoyed themselves. I made the mistake of using opening for closing invocation. And I was comfortable enough to admit my mistake. Never mind, I am fine. They too seems ok. And today even M came to ask me if she has any correction. I had a great session sharing the correction and I told them the mistakes I did and hence now can share with them.
Throughout the video on having children, Z looked at me and we laughed together. I am glad of the session as Sadhguru state that we should only have children if we can create a better a version of us. And in order to do that we have to continuously improve ourselves to be a better person. So, u need to be confident u can improve urself, if not there will be price to pay. If u r lucky, u pay the price for 20 years and if u r not lucky, it will be a lifetime price to pay. At least when I shared my view, he won't be surprised.

That's the reason I didn't consider children as it is a lifetime job. Just the same reason I didn't consider marriage as it is also a lifetime job.

Osho
Our direct contacts with life are those that come through work. Life and work and synonymous. Life and work has the same meaning.
It is not necessary for the work to be productive. It can be non-productive also, it can be a simple exercise. But some physical labour is absolutely necessary for the agility of the body, the complete alertness of the mind and the total awakening of the being.

Soul
Well, I am now watching the plates after dinner. I figured out voluntary services to begin at home instead.
As for exercise, I am doing hata 5 times a week, swimming once a week and morning walk every sunday. On hata, it will be 4 time since I am spending it with Z.

Osho
Desire alone is not enough; determination and effort are also needed. It is alright that u desire something, but how much effort do u make for that desire, how many steps do u take towards that desire, what do u do for that desire.
The only proof of ur desire is the effort u make to satisfy it. Otherwise there is no proof that u have the desire.

The center of intellect is the mind, the center of feelings is the heart. The navel is the center of willpower. The more activated the navel is, the more intense the willpower becomes and the more u can attain the determination, the power and the life energy to do something.
Or the more determined u r, the more u gather energy for doing, the more ur navel center will develop. The more u think, the more ur intellect will develop. The more u love, the more ur heart will develop.

The meaning of determination is to have the courage, the inner strength and willpower to do something about whatever it is u want, to act according to whatever u think is right and to follow whichever path seems right to u.

Soul
I saw that in Z. I want to have it for myself. For now, cosmic lesson has become cosmic reward. Today I was surprised to see him. He did hover around me and I think partly he want to show his support for me.

Osho
If u do not have this determination, then nothing can happen.