Cosmic Reward (33) - Ready to open up (Past is gone, Future is not yet)

May 3

Father, I may be the one who always initiate calling but he is the one who initiate our meet up. He is the one who makes us happens and keeps us together.

The only way I can overcome the mind is just to do it. He is a fine man. Even if I wait for another guy who profess that he loves, I too would have this fear. So, at least I am going in with my eyes open.
And I will let this rship flow and run its course. I would stay true to my commitment not to run.

Look at my card again ' Insecurity is the only way to grow, to face danger is the only way to grow, to accept the challenge of the unknown is the only way to grow.
The Past is no more and Future is not yet. A man who wants to be present has not to think, has just to see and enter the gate. Experience will come but experience has not be premediated. Life is a great ocean in which u can play if u drop all ur judgements.
Is true Z may have plan but we don't know what's going to happen.

Mind
The cloud of mind has to be dropped. U r clinging to it. If not, u be stuck in a "head trip"

Soul
Well, definitely I was stuck in one. Yday, I don't know how or why. I just ignored the mind and I called him and I now have clarity and my commitment renewed.

New Vision
By allowing all of life's colours to penetrate us, we become integrated. The dark and difficult are needed as much as the light and easy, then we beging to have a very different perspective on the world.

Soul
Yeap, my commitment renewed. I want all of him.

Mmm, Z asked me yday what's my plan in telling my mom. He seems to indicate that he told his mom he is meeting someone, but he didn't tell the name. So, he said I don't have to tell his name too. He teased me further by saying he could come to my house, show up to my family.


Nine of Hearts
Can signal the ending of one or more key relationships. It is time for them to end.

Soul
I am ending my rship with my mind. Its issue on abandonment has hold me for so long and robbed me of my life. I will proceed. Whatever happens, I will be fine. Firstly becos of my inner joy. Secondly Z cares for me and we will ensure an amicable ending.