Cosmic Reward (44) - Z and I opening up to each other

May 11

Father, just arrived in Seoul and I tot this is like a drive in Shanghai, albeit hills. It doesn't makes a difference where I am.

Just now when I was in the plane, I watched the movie, "No string attached". They started based on sex only and when they finally slept together, spoon, it means their emotion is in.
Me and Z, since day one, sex is just a small part as we enjoy sharing our tots and work. And since day one, we love to snuggle up to each other. And until now that's still our favourite moments. Just sleeping together, snuggling close, comforted by each other warmth.

Yea, D is right. We are already emotionally involved since day one.

Yesterday, when I called Z, he picked up the phone and first thing he said was that he will miss me, but of course, he pulled it back. I told him I missed him today too.

Later Z said he need to asked some QC questions only, he is not actually proceeding with it. He asked how would I feel if he went out with another gal. I hesitated and ponder between my pride or the truth. Finally I decided to be truthful. I told him I wouldn't like it and he prod further. I decided to be upfront and told him that I be jealous. He liked my answer.

He told me about an invite he had from his Korea's acquaintance, a lady. I told him to reply that he is sending a Representative, me. He laughed and told me that we will go together in future.

He also told me he has never had post mortum with any of his ex-gals. I am the first.

Of course, he even said that I am now monitoring him. I said he is also doing the same thing. He said nope, he was only seeing me, to ensure I know what to do as I can be blur. I said that's so like him, arrogant. When I am observing him, is monitoring and when he observes me, is seeing. His view is lopsided, always trying to pinpoint that I liked him more than he liked me.

Anyway, we have entered into a second part of our rship. Thanks for sending D and thanks for letting me watch the movie. Things are now clear and I know he does like me. He said knows his feelings for me but doesn't know mine and hence continuously asking me. He said he has to "corner" me before I gave him the answer.

I told him that he always asked me loads of questions on how I feel about him, whereas I never asked.
Actually I don't dare to ask as I am afraid to face the answer. Whereas Z will be frontal.
He said he already knows his feelings and where he wants to go, so he need only to check mine. Whereas I don't know my feelings and don't know where I am goin.