Cosmic Reward (47) - Beginning to appreciate Z

May 14 Aft

Osho
Camel lives in the past (pre-self);
Lion lives in the future (self); and
Child lives in the present, here-now (post-self).

Soul
Father, I finally realised that his insistence that I like him is because he wants the answer to be so. And he wants me to like him because he likes me too.

Father, while it was overdose yesterday on black pork, I really enjoy it. Today, no good food. So, luckily I had a feast yesterday. Tomorrow will also be the same and I had Monday to look forward to.

Osho
The camel has memory, the lion has knowledgeability and the child has wisdom.

Soul
Just now I did shoonya and I went in deep, about 20 min. It was good rest for me. Tot of me and Z. I am not sure how I could have done it for him, actually giving him service. Of course, he asked for it openly and he was just being himself. But me, I am surprised. These days, my No and yes is not as definite as before.

Osho
Two persons can be very loving together. The more loving they are, the less is the possibility of any relationship. The more loving they are, the more freedom exist between them. The more loving they are, the less is the possibility of any demand, any domination, any expectation. And naturally, there is no question of any frustration.

Soul
Z and I are definitely not there. There is still a power struggle. But I am more willing to concede to him now. Firstly because I know this relationship transform me and secondly I now know that he likes me as much as I likes him. I still don't know the future but I know we have been progressing and our relationship has deepen.

Osho
Love is authentic only when it gives freedom.
Love is true only when it does not interfere in the privacy of the other person. It respects its individuality, his privacy.

Soul
Not sure about that per se. I valued my individuality and accept his. But I want to share who we are, so we can truly accept each other.

Suddenly a tot occur to watch the movie, "No strings attached". The lady in the show doesn't allow for hugging or sleeping together as theirs is a pure physical rship. Infact the first time they sleep hugging each other, it was considered a breach. For me and Z, the part we like best is the after. cuddling. As for sleeping together with hugging, Z was the one who initiated and insisted that we do so. So since day one he was already ensuring we got attached.